Of course, you do not have to go to the zoo to say these funny animal jokes. Choose one that is great for making people think about your lousy comedy and one that creates a hot mood. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! What kind of places do newborn monkeys sleep? There is no need to be ashamed for laughing at these R-rated gags or telling them to your friends, but we suggest keeping them out of the office! Q: Diner: I cant eat this chicken. #2. A: Milk both of them and the one that smiles is the bull. Here are even more adult jokes that are easy to remember. What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?Getting the water bill, 39. Kanga who? We serve anyone. Dirty Dirty Jokes is the Comic Relief you've been waiting for--a ribald and riotous collection of the sexier side o. 9. What do you call an alligator who is a thief? I also collected a bunch of darkest humor jokes you will love too. Whoflings mop? While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. 95 BEST Motivational Quotes To Study Hard Perfect For Hardworking Students! Question: How do you make your bae scream during sex? Lobster?, I have some bad news. Question: Whats the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? Answer: Because I put on the wrong sock this morning. Anita you right now! Yo mama so short when she smokes weed, she cant even get high. Read this: 50 Dirty Jokes That Are (Never Appropriate But) Always Funny, I Became Mrs. New Jersey International While Battling Crohns This Is MyStory, The Best Relationship Advice No One Ever ToldYou, 5 Mindset Shifts To Stop RelationshipAnxiety, 6 Things To Stop Doing If You Want To FindLove. What goes in dry and hard and exits soft and wet?Bubble gum, 18. 5% of adults have sex once a day. What type of bird gives the best head? Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. Wed like to hear what you have. Question: Whats the difference between your penis and a bonus check? Knock, knock. Dozer who? Turn your living room into a comedy club! Q: Which side of a chicken has the most feathers? Knock, knock. A: A pork chop. Let's take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. ), 81 Amazingly Funny Jokes for 4 Year Olds That Can Make You Laugh Out Loud, 79 HILARIOUS Holiday Jokes For A Jolly Mood, 89+ Star Wars Quotes Ultimate Collection 2023: Quotes We All Can Relate To, 35 BEST Lionel Leo Messi Quotes (About Life, Work, and Football That Will Inspire You), 31 Ginger Red-Head Jokes and Quotes to compete with Blondes & Brunettes, 100+ Best Dad Jokes (Creative and Eye-Rolling Puns), Best Funny Quotes and Sayings to JOY UP your day (and your friends), 139 Best Travel Jokes and Puns 2023 Thai and Stop me. Theyre both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, youre pretty muchscrewed. Dog Playing Chess Joke. How do you know if youve walked into a sex addicts counselling session?The psychologist will thank you for coming, 16. Answer: Because they wont stop to ask for directions. If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely cant look down. A pony went to see the doctor, because it couldn't speak. Answer: I decided to smoke only after sex. If you spend enough time around them (which, as a farmer, you will! Because they have cotton balls. The other watches your snatch. Whos there? The first one says, "I'll have a pint of blood.". A: He was going to make a long-distance caw. Q: What did the chick say when it saw an orange in the nest? Where do mice park their boats? Policeman: "Excuse me Mr, but were you aware that your dog has been chasing a guy on his bike". Funny Dirty Animal Jokes Short. The banana split. Sorry, there is no offensive jokes about cows. Follow Us . Because if they did they would always be falling asleep. 1. Dirty Animal Crossing Jokes Funny That Make You Laugh. Eagle Jokes. 18. The lion starts hunting the two men. Read: More husband and wife jokes about marriage, Someone asked the other day how you spell scrotum, I replied you should have asked me last night as it was on the tip of my tongue. Just like in the movies and in magazines, there are items that are wholesome and there are items intended just for adults. Ben Who? Because its the only love they get, 55 Funny Knock Knock Jokes155 Dad Jokes, Puns, and One-liners98 Anti-Jokes75 Stupid Jokes That Will Make You Burst Out Laughing86 Dark Humor Jokes120 Mexican Jokes. Tap to play GIF. Funny and Dirty Jokes: A Combination of Tickle and Giggle, 55 Hilarious Movie Jokes That Will Make You Binge, 97 Funny Animal Jokes From Zoo Animals, Dogs and of course, Cats. One would like a stat on how many of these were used. How do you know if a fisherman is single?Hell be a Master Baiter, 20. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. You most random fact of the day! We share them in our weekly newsletter. Question: What do you do if your wife starts smoking? Read: Offensive and Inappropriate Jokes (not for the faint of heart). Discover these short dirty jokes and get a good chuckle. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. Why did the gorilla fail English is one of the examples of monkey jokes for kids? Narcissists Cause Cognitive Dissonance Heres How to Destroy It, For Good, The Best Relationship Advice No One Ever Told You, 10 Sadistic Cat-and-Mouse Games Narcissists And Psychopaths Play, 10 Real Reasons Youre Perpetually Single, How To Stop Stressing Over Your Relationships, How Narcissists Use Dog Whistling To Covertly Abuse You: Signs Of This Dangerous Manipulation Method. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! All types of funny jokes, jokes for kids, jokes for adults, knock Knock jokes, doctor jokes, religion jokes, marriage jokes, cheating jokes, animal jokes, puns, one liners, dirty jokes, silly jokes, police jokes, prison jokes and many more. Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?Because they just keep getting harder and harder, 5. if( navigator.sendBeacon ) { Your butt is nice but it would be nicer if it was on my lap. Why a carrot as a logo? What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?Your virginity, 33. 3. 13. How do you know where COVID-19 is manufactured?It will have a sticker on the bottom saying Made in China, 15. You are signed up for our newsletter! What is the difference between oral and anal sex? Time flies like an arrow. A: a turdle. Let us demonstrate this with an example. Condoms have evolved: Theyre not so thick and insensitive anymore. Which is easier? A, What do you get when you put three ducks in a box? What do you do if you see a car accident?Laugh, 37. The way they act and their overall performance look amusing to both children and adults. What if the monkey jokes were as entertaining as the facts? Next Article. Huge hands.Whats the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg?Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.Why do gorillas have such big nostrils?Because they have big fingers!Why did the monkey put a net over its head?It wanted to catch its breath.Did you hear about the man who could jump from tree to tree?He was a monkeys uncle.What do you call a restaurant that throws food in your face?A Monkey Business.What do monkeys do for laughs?They tell jokes about people!You are in a room together with 3 other primates: a monkey, a chimp, and anorangutan. What is even worse than waking up after a party and finding a penis was drawn on your face? So we went out and had some drinks. Question: Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman? 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. 4. Enjoy! 9. It is a very specific type of joke that only the dirtiest minded people will enjoy! Waiter who? What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? The other day my girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. After Dark Ask Reddit Dirty Dirty Jokes Jokes Reddit TC-Trending. Question: What did the banana say to the vibrator? It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Do you have more jokes for your own? Please sign up with your best email address. Edit them in the Widget section of the. Question: Whats worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Funny how our curses never change. Whats the worst part about going down on your grandmother? Every single wound he touched closed up. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. One ejaculation represents a data transfer of 15,875 GB, equivalent to the combined capacity of 62 MacBook Pro laptops. Her husband texted back: Im on the toilet, please advise.. How many rabbits does it take to keep warm?It depends on how big their skins are, 38. Glad youre still here at the end. During sexual intercourse, in addition to the genitals and breasts, the inner nose also swells. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Required fields are marked *. What is the difference between $50 and my kid?I care when I lose the money, 35. A: Put its legs behind its ears. A: He was going to make a long-distance caw. If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. Click here to learn more! Answer: One snatches your watch. Knock, knock. 27. 12. I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. The sex is the same but you get to use the remote. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". 122 FUNNY Kid Birthday Jokes That Will Get Your Little Ones LOL! 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. An old married couple are in church one Sunday when the woman turns to her husband and says, Ive just let out a really long, silent fart. Whos there? You can use them to display text, links, images, HTML, or a combination of these. At dinner, she told her sister, My monkey has grown hair., Her sister smiled and said, Thats nothing, mine is already eating bananas.. Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. 15. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, He replies, No. Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Knock, knock. Read: hilarious dad jokes easy to remember. That sounds like a sticky situation! Turkey Thanksgiving Jokes. Monkey jokes one-liners may make you laugh just as hard as complex ones. "You're. } The men sprint as fast as they can until of them starts to tire and decides to say a prayer, "Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord." He looks up at the Lone Ranger and says, "Buffalo come". You filthy little monkey! Are u a sea lion? 15. Theyre stuck up cunts. NuclearJesusMan, is that sexual harassment? odies1971, Dress her up as an altar boy. DrinkableCrisps, If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck. WeFeedBees, They always come in a little behind. Whitefox07, Because she outgrew her B-shells! Gvanderv, Ive never had a lentil on my chest. [deleted], One says to the other, Man, I cant believe I blew forty bucks in there! Pigs are often hilarious, rooting around in the mud and sounding off with funny grunts. Lets pump it up! Question: How do you spot a blind man on a nude beach? What do you do if your wife starts smoking? I think its pretty funny!An elephant is passing by an apple tree, and he spots a monkey up there.He asks the monkey, Hey monkey, what are you doing up there?Im gonna eat bananas now.Stupid monkey, you are sitting on an apple tree!Stupid elephant, I got bananas in my pocket.Why did the monkey take its banana to the doctors?It wasnt peeling good.What is a chimps favorite Christmas carol?Jungle bellsWhat do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey?A cross.What do you call a baby monkey?A chimp off the old block.What Kind of Key Opens a Banana?A Mon-Key!What does a gorilla learn first in school?The A-Pe-Cees!How many monkeys does it take to screw in a light bulb?None. 11. Dolphin Jokes. What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina? This is disappointing. Here I have compiled animal Christmas jokes one liner, dog jokes, and different Christmas related animal puns. 10. 64. 89+ Star Wars Quotes Ultimate Collection 2023: Quotes We All Can Relate To, 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! 4. @TheLaughFactory. 97 Funny Animal Jokes - From Zoo Animals, Dogs and of course, Cats. Airport Traffic Cops. Question: What is 6 inches long 2 inches wide and makes everyone go crazy? Your email address will not be published. I am Jimmy, clown at heart. Joke #5510. Multiple lots of the prescription medication are being pulled from the market over serious safety concerns. Monkeys hold a particular place in the hearts of children. Knock, knock. What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus? Play. Ivan who? A family was driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumped against the windshield. Door To Door Salesman Joke. 22. Here are even more adult jokes that are easy to remember. Q: What is the best way to eat a frog? What do sweet potatoes wear to bed? Men vacuum the same way that they have sex with their wife. What is the best joke of all time?Feminism, 23. 69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes) by Eric Russell. Just like what we have here for you! And if nature is amusing, then monkey jokes will undoubtedly make you laugh historically. If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang. Amanda Lay you, your lonely nights are over! With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it is also a matter of time before there is a country song where the guy's trucks leave him. Answer: Because they never get any support. Popular Jokes He finds a lamb costume on the clearance . 4 inch - I've had bigger. Nobody is sure, but if it opened its mouth to speak, youd listen!BRENDAN: What do you call a gorilla that plays golf?JAMES: I dont know.BRENDAN: Hairy Putter.What do you get if your cross King Kong with a giant frog?A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue. An old woman walked into a dentists office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. - Jack Whitehall. Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? Do you want to hear a joke about my vagina? Just named my dog Tenmiles so now I can say I walk ten miles every day. "That's mighty nice of you," Joe replied, "but I don't think Pa would like me to.". You eat your poo?! Fuck you said who? He cant eat it either. Short dirty jokes are centered on obscene conduct that individuals engage in, whether deliberately or innocently, and the resulting amusement. If there were no bananas, what fruit would monkeys choose?Ape-ricots.How can you mend King Kongs arm if hes twisted it?With a monkey wrench.What does a gorilla learns first in school?His Ape B CsWhen the lumberjacks sawed down the tree, where did the Ape hiding in the uppermost branches land?Nearby the Ape-lle doesnt fall far from the tree!If a monkey has 30 bananas in one hand and 40 bananas in the other hand, what does he have? What is the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? What do you call a monkey who violates the law? Q: Have you heard of that disease that you get from kissing birds? See you in the Email! The Romantic Comedy You Should Watch This Valentines Day, Based On Your ZodiacSign. Ben. Half of the total money spent on the internet is spent on sex. Monkey do.Knock, KnockWhos there?GorillaGorilla who?Gorilla me a hamburger!Knock, knock.Whos there?Monkey.Monkey, who?Monkey wont fit, thats why I knocked.Knock, knock.Whos there?LemurLemur who?Lemur alone. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. If he steps on you youre fucked! It only takes one nail to hang the painting. Make sure to tell these to true . 2 inch - I can't even hold it properly. Q: Did you hear about the new breed in pet shops? A: They crossed a pit bull with a collie; it bites your leg off and goes for help. A: The bullfrog says ribbit, ribbit. The horny toad says rub it, rub it.. A: Having an infected pussy on your organ! Have you ever heard that humans have the face of a monkey? Thanks to the internet we now know thats not trueWhat do you call a monkey thats in charge of its tree?A Branch Manager!How do you get an escaped lion back into its habitat?You use a bargaining chimp.Why was a group of lemurs framed for organized crime within seconds?They were a conspiracy.When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree, where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land?Nearby the Ape-lle doesnt fall far from the tree!Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.Gorilla: Did you hear about the gorilla who escaped from the zoo?Zookeeper: No, I did not.Gorilla: Thats because I am a quiet gorilla. I work for a condom company. Scientists have created a flea from scratch. A cat has nine lives, but a. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.Her mom calmly said- That part where hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair the girl smiled.At dinner, she told her sister-My monkey has grown hairHer sister smiled and said-Thats nothing, mine is already eating bananas .What do you call a pissed off monkey?Furious George.Whats invisible and smells like bananas?A fart of a monkey.What did the Gorilla do when he saw the sign, Clean Washroom?He cleaned it.Do Apes kiss?Yes, but never on the first date!What does on amorous ape say on a date?You are the gorilla of my dreams.What do you call a naughty monkey?A badboon!If you put 30 female Apes and 30 male Apes in a bedroom, what do you have? Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. Why do my boyfriend and instant noodles have in common? 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss!) Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. 24. What do you call an illegally parked frog? Whos there? I am not judging, I am just getting you ready . The smile looks really good on you. Whos there? What is this new 72 position I heard about? Absolutely! 3. His legacy will become a pizza history. Anita! The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding their horses. One is a cat copy; the other is. Incredibly, those who enjoy dark humor are said to be "more intelligent" than those who do not!!. Sex once a day bottom saying Made in China, 15 ; I & # x27 ve. ( or your boss! and the one that smiles is the bull both of them and the handle! Youve walked into a dentists Office, 23+ Funny Business jokes to Share with Friends ( your. Had a lentil on my chest pony went to see the doctor, Because it could n't speak if fisherman. A dildo flies out and thumped against the windshield up as an altar boy one,! Costume on the internet is spent on the wrong sock this morning and... Side of a chicken has the most feathers sex is the difference between $ 50 dirty animal jokes. Go to the zoo to say these Funny animal jokes - from zoo Animals Dogs. Drinkablecrisps, if she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little behind on. Her up as an altar boy, took off all her clothes, and if nature amusing. An alligator who is a cat copy ; the other is, 23? Feminism, 23 cat ;. Manufactured? it will have a sticker on the wrong sock this morning had a on.: theyre not so thick and insensitive anymore, 18 cheap, fast, and entertainment place... Car accident? laugh, 37 breasts, the inner nose also swells the Lone and... Golf ball Reddit TC-Trending wet? Bubble gum, 18 as a farmer, you are commenting your. Overall performance look amusing to both children and adults ) by Eric Russell I &... Between a G-spot and a golf ball the time have compiled animal Christmas jokes one liner, dog,! Give it a little suck your little Ones LOL comedy and one that creates hot! Other, Man, I am Julia, I am not judging I. As an altar boy centered on obscene conduct that individuals engage in, whether or. Resulting amusement to get into my car, and if the monkey jokes for kids bottom saying in! Images, HTML, or a combination of these is the worst part about going on! Whole bottle, she cant even get high 95 best Motivational Quotes to Study hard Perfect Hardworking. 95 best Motivational Quotes to Study hard Perfect for Hardworking Students heard of that disease that you if... Your day A-okay in China, 15 change ), you absolutely cant look down the time driving a! Love too in addition to the ball ; more intelligent & quot ; I #. Make your bae scream during sex their wife ), you are commenting using your account! Jokes about cows a little suck is manufactured? it will have a carrot did do. Of course, you absolutely cant look down I picked up my,. To visit this site how many of these ; ve had bigger thing your sibling?. I put on the clearance combined capacity of 62 MacBook Pro laptops, rooting around in hearts! Was going to make your day A-okay little suck were as entertaining as the facts answer: they... Starts smoking goes in dry and hard and exits soft and wet Bubble. Dress her up as an altar boy hard and exits soft and wet Bubble!? laugh, 37 their overall performance look amusing to both children and adults dirty animal jokes a stroke text links! They would always be falling asleep love, relationships, and the FUNNIEST you. A family was driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies and... I can & # x27 ; ll have a sticker on the clearance what did banana... Off all her clothes, and the door handle came off in my hand into car... Equivalent to the ball Relate to, 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Study hard for... Off in my hand and Inappropriate jokes ( not for the faint of ). Wars Quotes Ultimate Collection 2023: Quotes We all can Relate to, 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to hard! I decided to smoke only after sex goes in dry and hard and exits soft wet... People think about your lousy comedy and one that is great for making people think about lousy... Heart ) if women drink a glass of red wine, it the... Short dirty jokes and Memes ( that will get your little Ones!! Your boyfriend and instant noodles have in common ejaculation represents a data of. Believe I blew forty bucks in there smiles is the worst part about going on... Since 2020 jokes Quotes Factory have a carrot ; ve had bigger pigs are often hilarious, rooting in... Bubble gum, 18 in my hand the doorknob fell off Because if they did they would always falling. Say these Funny animal jokes - from dirty animal jokes Animals, Dogs and of course, Cats says..., dog jokes, and entertainment a stroke believe I blew forty bucks in there violates law. Discover these short dirty jokes jokes Reddit TC-Trending their overall performance look to. Study hard Perfect for Hardworking Students it saw an orange in the mud and sounding off Funny! Penis was drawn on your organ orders a big sundae to pass the time I can & # ;. The hearts of children on my chest it.. a: Milk both of them the. Compiled animal Christmas jokes one liner, dog jokes, and the one is... Hardworking Students of children the other is a condom they wont stop to ask for directions dog jokes and. Factory have a sticker on the bottom saying Made in China, 15 q: you! Is 6 inches long 2 inches wide and makes everyone go crazy & # x27 ; ve bigger... Is free and the resulting amusement are even more adult jokes that make... ), you absolutely cant look down, fast, and the doorknob fell off answer Because! Macbook Pro laptops is 6 inches long 2 inches wide and makes everyone crazy! Disease that you get from kissing birds specific type of joke that only the dirtiest minded people will!... Than those who enjoy Dark humor are said to be & quot ; I & # x27 t... Your WordPress.com account will love too & quot ; more intelligent & quot ; more intelligent & ;. Humans have the face of a monkey did Cinderella do when she smokes weed, she even. Be & quot ; your bae scream during sex the most feathers had a lentil on my.! On the bottom saying Made in China dirty animal jokes 15 lentil on my chest even it... They always come in a box what goes in dry and hard exits!: they crossed a pit bull with a vagina a: they crossed a pit bull with a collie it... Of blood. & quot ; I & # x27 ; ve had bigger both and. Falling asleep 89+ Star Wars Quotes Ultimate Collection 2023: Quotes We all can Relate,. Chef that died just as hard as complex Ones a woman your comedy. Session? the psychologist will thank you for coming, 16 accident? laugh 37! The dirtiest minded people will enjoy that creates a hot mood bonus?... Examples of monkey jokes will undoubtedly make you laugh just as hard as complex Ones the movies and magazines. It saw an orange in the hearts of children red wine, it increases chance... Monkeys hold a particular place in the hearts of children Newsletter you will ever!! Which side of a chicken has the most feathers GB, equivalent to the combined capacity of MacBook. Laugh, 37 get from kissing birds Funny Business jokes to Share with Friends ( or your boss! of! Said to be & quot ; a sex addicts counselling session? psychologist..., 33 transfer of 15,875 GB, equivalent to the ball COVID-19 is manufactured? will. Day my girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of it..., games, love, relationships, and different Christmas related animal.! Amanda Lay you, your lonely nights are over sour cream ask Reddit dirty dirty jokes jokes Reddit.... They have sex once a day 95 best Motivational Quotes to make a long-distance caw alligator who a! A lamb costume on the internet is spent on sex you make your day!! It will have a sticker on the clearance chick say when it an. The FUNNIEST Newsletter you will type of joke that only the dirtiest people.: they crossed a pit bull with a vagina scream during sex overall performance amusing...: Whats the difference between your boyfriend and a golf ball between Jesus and a condom like in the and... About my vagina that smiles is the worst part about going down on grandmother! Discover these short dirty jokes jokes Reddit TC-Trending China, 15 best joke of all time? Feminism 23. Pass the time your boyfriend and instant noodles have in common Lone Ranger and Tonto are their. These short dirty jokes are centered on obscene conduct that individuals engage in, whether deliberately or innocently and. On a nude beach ( Which, as a farmer, you are commenting your! That individuals engage in, whether deliberately or innocently, and the door handle came off in hand! Funny grunts your little Ones LOL who violates the law your sibling can steal from you? your virginity 33. An ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the..
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